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FAQ's: Fucking Answers to Questions

Q:  Where are your products made?

A:  All of our products are printed and/or made in the USA. Fuck yeah.

 

Q. Who created and designed all of your products?

A. Barbara Hobart. The one who fucks things up.

 

Q.  Can I copy the images?

A.  Fuck no. All content including, but not limited to, images, designs, copy, text, graphics, audio and video is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws and is the exclusive property of HomePlates Worldwide. BUT, you may "Share" or “Like” or “Pin” or “Tweet” (please do!) our website pages, postings, and other marketing materials and advertisements on any and all social media. You may NOT, without our express written permission, copy or reproduce any designs, products, or information for sale or for use or for any purpose whatsoever, including but not limited to on other products or otherwise, or you’ll hear from our lawyer.  And you don’t want that.  We have the best fucking lawyer on the planet.  She looks sweet – and she is, except if you fuck with us. HOWEVER, if you are interested in LICENSING any of our designs, you will definitely want to talk to our lawyer who would LOVE to talk to you. 

 

Q. What's your shipping policy?

A.  Free shipping on orders over $50.00 except to Hawaii. We're sorry, but it's fucking far.

 

Q.  What’s your return policy?

A.  You may return unused, unopened merchandise in its original packaging and in resalable, pristine condition for a refund within 7 days of receipt of order. Original shipping costs will not be refunded. You are responsible for shipping costs associated with the return, which must be sent via a traceable carrier such as FEDEX, UPS, USPS with a tracking number.  All returned product must include the original order form.  Contact us and we will give you the address to return your product.  Or fuck-it and just re-gift it.

 

Q. What if my item arrived damaged?

A. Well, that would suck and we’ll fix it. Any item(s) shipped in error or received damaged can be returned for refund or exchange within 5 days of receipt of your order and we will refund ground shipping costs for the return of any item shipped in error or received damaged and/or defective.  All returned product must include the original order form.  Contact us and we will provide you with the return address.

 

Q.  I own a store and want to carry your products, who do I contact?

A.  Fuck yeah. We love that. Fill out the wholesale form and we’ll get you set up with a trade account.

 

Q.  What’s your privacy policy?

A.  We never ever sell your information. You are our customer and we respect your privacy. When you sign up for our newsletter or buy any of our products, you will hear from us. We swear.

 

Q.  I'm offended. Who do I contact?

A. The sense of humor police. 1-800-FUCK-OFF.